Monster
by clicketykeys
Summary: An offhand remark by Corso brings Vacy face to face with some of the demons from her past.


**Monster**

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_All right, because she asked SOOO nicely for Vacy to relent a bit, this one's dedicated to OrionsArtemis. It takes place pretty much RIGHT before the finale to Chapter 1._

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Captain Vacy Fiorst was always happiest on the bridge of the Wonder, looking out at the stars that surrounded her ship. However, while the captain's chair was both comfortable and empowering, it didn't exactly lend itself to loafing around.

Which was what she was doing now.

A lazy smile played over her lips as she lay sprawled out on the sofa in the lounge, blissfully ignoring whatever happened to be playing on the Holonet projector. More important was running her fingers lovingly over the walls of her ship.

Her home.

She heard soft laughter and she opened her eyes, looking at an upside-down Corso Riggs. "Captain," he said, "I don't think I've ever seen you looking so relaxed."

Vacy sat up, stretching a bit, and grinned at him. "Yeah. I mean, things have been insane… but then they always are. So I figured I'd remind myself that it ain't all bad. We've made quite a bit of progress."

He nodded at her. "Gettin' the ship back was a big step."

She stood, walking over to the counter where he was standing, resting her hand on the smooth durasteel surface with a quiet smile. "It just felt wrong, somehow, knowing that a person like Skavak was at the helm of a lovely ship like this."

Corso narrowed his eyes, lip curling in disgust. "Skavak isn't a person, he's a monster."

And without a conscious thought, Vacy suddenly had Flashy jammed against Corso's chest, eyes blazing, trembling with the effort of holding her fury in check. "If you ever say **anything like that** again," she bit off thickly, "you will be off my ship for good before you realize I shot you."

Her action caught Corso completely by surprise, and he sputtered wordlessly before snapping back, "How can you defend him after all he's done?"

"_All he did_ doesn't make him **not a person**," Vacy snarled in return. "It makes him a _horrible_ person, sure, but still a person. And I'm not defending him. I'm defending you."

"But I ain't _done _anything!"

His frustrated confusion finally registered, and Vacy set the pistol down on the counter with an empty sigh. "No," she said. Looking back up at him, she smiled sadly, and slipped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "No, thank the stars, you haven't."

Corso just kind of stood there for a moment. "Uh… Captain?"

Vacy chuckled a bit. "Yeah… sorry," she said, stepping back. "Can we sit awhile?" she asked, nodding back toward the sofa.

He watched her carefully, brows pulled together in concern. "Sure thing." Following her over, he sat down next to her.

She pulled her feet up, leaning against him. "Back on Mantell, when we'd fought through the separatist base… you remember Morant?"

About to put his arm around her, Corso tensed. "Yes," he replied tightly, hate darkening his voice.

Vacy nudged herself closer to him, looking very intently at her knees. "You asked why I didn't just let you kill him, and I kind of dodged your question, but… well, when you look at somebody and you don't see a person? Makes it easier to kill 'em." She took a slow, shaky breath before continuing. "Gets even easier the next time, too. And the next. But every time you let that happen, it changes you. You start thinking about other folks the same way. Not a person. Just… an asset. Or a liability."

Corso could feel her beginning to tremble, now, and he wrapped his arm around her just a little tighter, though she didn't respond to it, just continued, the words coming faster now.

"You might not even notice the change, an' if someone tells you about it, you just laugh it off," and her breath was coming in gulps and gasps, "an' you can't see that you're just goin' darker an' darker an' you end up cuttin' yourself off from everybody and you're _alone_, Corso, you're all alone an' you ain't got nobody." And she covered her face with her hands, rocking back and forth, shoulders convulsing as she silently wept.

And all he could do was hold her. So he did, wrapping both arms around her and rocking with her there on the sofa.

Finally she took a shuddering breath and snuffled. "You think that because you don't care about anybody that you can't get hurt, but that ain't true – it's just a different kind of hurt." She let out a long, slow sigh, her body finally relaxing against him. "And that's why I butted in like I did. I wasn't tryin' to be rude. I just – you seemed nice. And I didn't want you to end up like … like me."

Corso rested his head on hers for a moment, wishing there was a way he could do more. Wishing she'd let him. "You ain't alone, Captain."

Vacy found herself calming down more and more with each breath. "I know. It's been a lot better, actually, with you around. And now there's Risha and Bowdaar, too… Ship's not so empty now. I just hope…" The tension that had eased out of her twisted back sharply.

Noting the change, Corso reached up, smoothing her hair back with his palm. "What's that?" he asked, turning slightly so that he could look at her.

But she wouldn't look at him – just sighed, staring emptily out the door. "Things can change awful fast, Riggs."

He didn't even have to think about his reply; it was just _there_. "Well there's one thing that won't change."

The smile that wrenched her lips was bitter. "Oh yeah?"

He let go of her, turning more to face her, and took her hands in his, and waited. When she finally looked up, he gazed into her sad, dark eyes for a moment before saying, "Me." He'd made his feelings clear (least he thought he had) but sometimes it seemed it hadn't sunk in. "Captain, I will always be here if you ever need me. You don't ever have to be alone again." His cheeks flamed, just a little, and his chest felt tight. Somehow it wasn't getting easier with each time he opened up to her. "Least… not if you don't want to be," he added with a shy smile.

"Dammit, Riggs…" Her lower lip began to wobble.

"It's gonna be all right, Vee. Everything's gonna be all right, just wait."

And he cradled her close as she buried her face in his chest and sobbed.


End file.
